Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize