My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Randomize
