She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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