Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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