My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
