Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
only if we run a train.
done.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
