i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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