I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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