But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
