First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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