Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
