As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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