Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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