I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize