I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
