worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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