Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
