Its about making memories worth repressing
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
