I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
