On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
your room smells of hookers.
And success
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize