i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize