I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
