You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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