Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
