Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
His nipple licking is glorious
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