just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize