I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You dont lie about slip and slides
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Randomize