Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I need to align my fucking chakras
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
