I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
So much Jack, so little girl.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
