That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
