You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
