I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
