I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
