i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
All I want is dick and wine.
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