phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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