you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
