Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
