no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
