im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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