My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Randomize
