SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize