well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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