I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
