I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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