if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
