We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
