just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
