Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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