she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
