why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Can vaginas get frostbite?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
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