Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
