she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
