It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
handjob tips. give me some.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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