dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
