HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
