Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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