Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
