I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
