I want to make a zoo with you.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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