so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
