I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
