I wish I could punch you in the face.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
