Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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