What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
