3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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