I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
