She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
