i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
He did a backflip because drugs
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
