I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Fuck appropriateness.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
