i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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