No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
