If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
