I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Dignity is for republicans.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
