It's like God shit irony all over that family
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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