I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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