i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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