Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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