he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
