I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
