If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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