Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
