I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
